Wallace
Big Ring
Posts:170
Registered Users
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| 09/25/2008 8:04 PM |
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With the recent silencing of political post
I have decided to make a daily post to honor and to bring tribute to all brave enough to squeeze into that spandex outfit.
Hence in the coming days I will be posting a " Daily spandex tip "
Enjoy
Tip #1
If trapped in the wood spandex is your best friend.
If you find your stomach aching for food then just follow these easy steps.
1. Take off your spandex
2. Tie either the arms or legs in knots.
3. Find a pond preferably a creek or stream
4. Wade into the water and stay still.
( Use caution in water remember your naked )
5. Finally put your spandex fish net ( with the opening towards the current) into the water.
6. Hopefully you caught some fish, take them out ( after you reach land )
7. This is the part spandex can't help. Build a fire. ( I guess you could burn them )
8. Cook and enjoy
I hope this will help any mountain biker that may become stranded in the woods.
Be on the look out for more spandex tips.
And remember to be safe while biking wear a helmet and use plenty of powders to avoid chaffing.
God Bless America |
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PR
Big Ring
Posts:467
Registered Users
Jackson County
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| 09/25/2008 10:01 PM |
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| Wallace, won't your wife let you out of the house? |
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chuck_clark
Big Ring
Posts:299
Registered Users
Louisville
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| 09/25/2008 10:26 PM |
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Wallace:
Ever heard of the word troll?
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=troll
How about snarky?
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=snarky
Check out #3.
I would say that you are definitely a snarky troll.
I would also say that your poor spelling is deliberate and you take great pleasure when people take the bait. You might even be someone else here operating under another identity. It doesn't make sense why someone would come here with no seeming interest in or posts about mountain biking and and troll like you have.
Creep was right. You need to be ignored and I have done so. I've only posted a response here in hope others would do the same. |
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russell g
Big Ring
Posts:364
Registered Users
Louisville, KY
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| 09/25/2008 11:03 PM |
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| To be a forum troll is a fine art. Most Trolls are too obvious. I always appreciate a good post that simply confuses the party or parties that are being flamed, and a select few get the hidden message. I like a good snarky post that is so clever the victims actually agree with the sarcasm that was just placed on the board. The perfect troll post IMO will kill a lame thread, and the forum troll will be revered days later outside of the forum by people in the know. Meanwhile, days later, the victims will receive word of how they were publicly humiliated. Since the thread is dead the victim will most likely have to accept the troll had the final word at their expense. Wallace made a good effort but fell short when he started a new thread, and misspelled words can never help a trolls cause. I give it a 3 out of 5 stars. |
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TheWaverlyGhost
Little Ring
Posts:79
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| 09/26/2008 12:49 AM |
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Rowbear
Big Ring
Posts:378
Registered Users
Lexington, KY
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| 09/26/2008 12:52 AM |
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Posted By russell g on 09/25/2008 11:03 PM
To be a forum troll is a fine art. Most Trolls are too obvious. I always appreciate a good post that simply confuses the party or parties that are being flamed, and a select few get the hidden message. I like a good snarky post that is so clever the victims actually agree with the sarcasm that was just placed on the board. The perfect troll post IMO will kill a lame thread, and the forum troll will be revered days later outside of the forum by people in the know. Meanwhile, days later, the victims will receive word of how they were publicly humiliated. Since the thread is dead the victim will most likely have to accept the troll had the final word at their expense. Wallace made a good effort but fell short when he started a new thread, and misspelled words can never help a trolls cause. I give it a 3 out of 5 stars.
this is a hilarious contribution
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creeping death
Big Ring
Posts:244
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| 09/26/2008 3:57 PM |
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Hey Chuck say it again, "Creep was right" I don't hear that very often.
I used to be a pain in the rump, but it got old. After being tossed of singletrack and Kymba twice. I was put back on the Kymba board both times. I seen that being a "PAIN" was not very constructive. My views on all the topics that we "shouldn't discuss on here" are still the same. It's better to keep them to myself, cause I don't think my posts will change any ones mind on here. That being said I going to go ride some muddy trails, then eat some animal flesh, Go ask my neighbors if I can put a McCain sign in their yard and then protest outside of the local abortion clinic. One more thing I have a Blog to speak my mind.
http://grayhawkgrinders.blogspot.com/ |
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s0ckeyeus
Big Ring
Posts:168
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| 09/26/2008 4:14 PM |
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Dude...you're late for Jazzercise.
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Wallace
Big Ring
Posts:170
Registered Users
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| 09/27/2008 7:41 PM |
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Hey fellow mountain bikers and lovers of spandex!
Tip #2
How to survive an encounter with a “Snarky Troll" in the woods.
If you follow these easy steps you will surely leave the wood without harm.
1. Take off your spandex.
2. Ignore the snarky troll.
3. Walk counter clockwise in a half mile radius until you see the snarky trolls backside. (Snarky Trolls generally have no hair on their backside)
4. As quiet and quick as possible run towards the troll in a zig zag fashion.
5. When you are about two feet away hold your spandex in front of you like you are trying to coax a bull.
6. As the snarky troll runs towards you side step him and put your spandex over him like a net. ( don’t worry with you being naked the troll will laugh leaving you able to avoid serious injury )
7. Now that you have the troll tell everyone that thinks like you to belittle and ignore the troll. It also helps to email the administrator of the woods so he can reprimand the troll.
8. It sometimes is useful (with an overly aggressive troll) to call him names that would offend you.
The perfect troll will kill a lame biker, and the troll will be revered days later outside by trolls in the know. Meanwhile, days later, the victims will receive word of how the troll was publicly humiliated.
Hopefully this will help you avoid injury or death when encountering the Snarky Troll.
589,432,000 bikers are killed or injured by snarky troll per year so be careful.
And as always be safe when riding. Wear your helmet and make sure to use plenty of powders to prevent chaffing.
God bless America.
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Wallace
Big Ring
Posts:170
Registered Users
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| 09/29/2008 10:20 PM |
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Hello fellow mountain bikers and lovers of spandex.
It is well known that spandex is the most awesome fabric in existence.
That being said I figured what better way to show our appreciation and our eternal passion for “the miracle fabric “ , then to spread the joys of spandex with those we love.
Tip # 3
Spreading the joys of spandex.
- Wear spandex in your everyday life (meetings, church, graduations, etc...)
- Give the gift that keeps giving (spandex-duh)
- Lobby your congress man or woman to enact legislation that creates a national “Spandex Appreciation Day”
- Start a band, wait until you reach #1 on the billboard charts, and then make a song confessing your love of spandex.
- Start picketing non-spandex clothing stores.
(For their obvious ignorance of spandex)
- Lobby the U.N. to air drop spandex to less fortunate nations.
- Customize your spandex to show your individuality.
- Tell your children that Santa wears spandex the 364 other days.
- Have spandex night at Papa Johns Cardinal stadium.
Hopefully these tips will help you to force your love of spandex on others.
(Except the Papa Johns thing. That would just be funny)
Remember to be safe when riding. Wear your helmet and use plenty of powders to avoid chaffing.
God bless America and GO CATS |
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Wallace
Big Ring
Posts:170
Registered Users
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| 10/07/2008 11:31 PM |
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Hey fellow mountain bikers and lovers of spandex!
Today’s topic is a serious one that affects too many bikers.
Lack of circulation due to tightness of spandex.
Tip #4
How to tell if your spandex is too tight.
- They look like they are painted on.
- You can read the washing instructions thru the spandex.
- It looks like a body g-string.
- You speak in a high pitch voice.
- You turn purple and pass out.
- Obama makes a lot of sense.
If you or a loved one is suffering from any of these symptoms, call your doctor and take the spandex off immediately.
Remember to be safe when riding. Wear your helmet and use plenty of powders to avoid chaffing.
God Bless America |
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G-MAN
Big Ring
Posts:244
Registered Users
Louisville, KY
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| 10/08/2008 8:55 PM |
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Is that MEK on the end?
take your pick... |
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PR
Big Ring
Posts:467
Registered Users
Jackson County
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| 10/08/2008 9:32 PM |
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| From the left-TWL, Rico, MEK, Creep, and Wallace. May I never run into that team at a 24 hr race. |
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Wallace
Big Ring
Posts:170
Registered Users
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| 10/09/2008 11:47 PM |
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All Hail Spandex!!!! |
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Wallace
Big Ring
Posts:170
Registered Users
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| 10/10/2008 11:25 PM |
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Hello fellow mountain bikers and lovers of spandex!
Spandex is the best discovery ever made, even better than the wheel.
Although many of you may not know that spandex was actually made for an evil purpose. Hitler had a team of brilliant scientist trying to make a cheap, light, flexible fabric to toss the Jews around in.
It is a dark moment in clothing history but some good came out of it, mountain bikers everywhere can enjoy with the comfort and flexibility while riding, that Hitler had intended the Jews to have in his camps
Tip # 5
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Things not to do in spandex
- Do not under any circumstance frolic in a circle around any Jews.
(especially Orthodox Jews)
- Do not go to Germany in spandex, they will beat you and lock you up.
(they have very tough anti-nazi laws)
- Do not go to church or even pray in spandex.
(it is sacrilegious)
- Do not hold your right hand up high to wave at people while high stepping in a military fashion.
(especially in groups you might be mistaken for a nazi)
- Do not vote for Obama!
(he will take your spandex)
Hopefully these tips will enlighten you on spandex etiquette.
As always wear a helmet, and make sure you use plenty of powders to prevent chaffing.
God Bless America and Israel.
McCain 08 for spandex freedom.
And thank god for Spandex Force.
Writers note: this is not intended to be antisemitic, but to bring to light the contast (in a satiracal way) of things created from evil mind that were put to use by the Godly. |
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Wallace
Big Ring
Posts:170
Registered Users
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| 10/14/2008 9:32 PM |
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Hello Fellow Mountain Bikers and lovers of spandex.
Spandex is just so glorious.
So glorious that Obama has announced his Presidential suit will be made out of spandex!
Awesome!
In rebuttal the McCain campaign said McCain was tortured in spandex.
With our tough economic times I think it is important to invest in something of real value.
TIP #6
Why spandex is a safer investment than the stock market.
1.Spandex never depreciates or gets wrinkled.
2.You will never loose half of your spandex then get twenty eight percent back one week later.
3.Spandex production is not controlled or regulated by the congress of the United States.
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4. Spandex value has shot up forty nine thousand percent since Bush has been in office
(Bush owns spandex companies)
(So does Cheney)
(I think really all republicans)
5.Because you can use spandex for anything.
(as discussed in previous spandex tips)
What a great investment, don’t you agree?
As always be safe, wear a helmet and use plenty of powders to avoid chaffing.
God Bless America
The real reason spandex doing so well |
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PR
Big Ring
Posts:467
Registered Users
Jackson County
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| 10/15/2008 9:07 AM |
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| Wallace, you seem dehydrated. When I encounter you, the first round is on me. |
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Wallace
Big Ring
Posts:170
Registered Users
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| 10/15/2008 5:46 PM |
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Fine by me.
A Bass will do. |
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MEK
Big Ring
Posts:384
Registered Users
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| 10/15/2008 7:30 PM |
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Stupid is as stupid does and this thread is stupid.
Oh & BTW WallAss, I'm taking bets on the election. Should I put you down for $10.00 with TWL? |
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Wallace
Big Ring
Posts:170
Registered Users
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| 10/15/2008 11:11 PM |
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I will take 10 on McCain!!!!
Did you just watch Forest Gump, McMEK?
Or is that something your momma told you?
And your st tupid you don't know quality tip sharing when you see it.
Im trying to help my fellow mtbkrs who I care for dearly.
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