WebGirl's Blog

i have seen the cyclocross light

suzanne@bikeclicks.com — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 13:41:32 GMT

sweet little tiny infant baby jesus i have seen the light. i get it now. i totally get it. i don’t have to be afraid anymore. truly a day for rejoicing.

i raced the first ‘cross race of the season today in the pouring rain and the mud and the off camber shit and mud and the rain and the mud. and last year i would have cried or dropped the f-bomb all day, but this year i totally loved it and had a blast. today, the ‘cross manifesto worked.and this is huge people. huge.

i got to the course late and barely eeked out a pre-ride on the (dry at the time) course. then instead of warming up any more (it was already puring by that point anyway) i watched the men’s 4 race where 3 out of 5 dudes did all variations on a theme of skidding out, 180’s, 360’s, and sliding under the yellow caution tape wall of doom; you name it - many did not make it down a very slippery downhill.

and then i lined up. with judi, who was doing her first ‘cross race ever (and by the way, rocked it) and she was asking me what in the hell i had gotten her into. and i didn’t really know cause i didn’t even always know why i did it, but i just hoped to hell she liked it; cause i was gonna feel really bad if she felt like i sometimes did at races, especially rainy muddy ones - all scared and sometimes wanting to cry before, during or when it was over.

they had call ups according to order of registration and out of 26 girls, i was number 24.

and then it was all just bunch of turns and crazy hard off camber ups and slippery downs and mud and rain and more mud and rain. and i moved up a couple of spots from my call up position, but not many.

i didn’t crash into or under the yellow caution tape wall of doom, but i did get stung by a bee and was convinced for half a lap that he was just stuck in my happy face sock stinging me over and over.

the course felt like the wide open prairie after riding singletrack for weeks on end. those trails taught me a thing or two about a thing or two.

i didn’t rock it or kick any ass out there today nor do i really care cause for me, today’s race was epic. in more ways than one.

bit of a ‘cross baptism i suppose what with all that water all over the place and stuff.

amen.

a cross manifesto of sorts

suzanne@bikeclicks.com — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 23:16:45 GMT

i’ve been dithering around since road season ended. i just didn’t want it to end. i’d be happy riding in a circle forever if i never had to get off my bike or worse - figure out how to get back on it. and don’t even mention sand pits.

anyhow. a while back i got tired of my schedule. and then i actually got tired of my road bike and there was a window of opportunity where i actually couldn’t wait to get on my ‘cross bike. which was good timing since ‘cross season is around the corner.

i figured it was time to maybe, i don’t know. practice.

so i jumped on it. the opportunity and the bike. and the two of us took to the trails. at first it was scary as shit. but now, its just fun as shit. i figured if me & the ‘cross bike can ride some kentucky singletrack, then a three meter wide ‘cross course isn’t gonna be as scary to us as it was last season.

i’ll let you know if this theory holds water. or mud. or sand.

sure, i’ve still got to figure out the whole remount thing and those pesky sandpits. evidently, my husband gave the whole damn town a kick ass and highly enlightening sand pit clinic which i missed. he assures me a private lesson.

i’m not gonna get sucked into the whole “i’m just here for the points” thing, or the promise of a wheel raffle entry if i do every damn race of the season. i’ve picked my races and i’m sticking to them.

and so mostly what i am saying here is that my goals for this ‘cross season are merely to suck less than last year and to have more fun - at both the sucking less and the ‘cross. it’s my hope that simply deciding to have more fun will automagically translate into sucking less.

so that’s it. i’m not really ‘training for ‘cross’. in fact, according to coach if i want a good road season i’m supposed to just be dithering around right now and having fun - which works out well, cause i want a good road season and dithering around is all i’ve been doing.

so there you have it. and you heard it here. i thought if i announced my intentions for the upcoming ‘cross season right here, out in the open for all to see – that' y’all could just remind me when i come off a course dropping the f bomb in front of small children and lovely women who have baked muffins for me and my airstream; about the mud or the course or the this or that -that i’m just here to have fun and roll some sweet knee socks.

remind me. please.

if you build it

suzanne@bikeclicks.com — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 01:24:07 GMT

you know the rest. but still. i was worried that even if we built it, gave it a go, did something new and tried it out; that they wouldn’t come.

one fairly recent summer night, a friend of mine, well schooled in the ways of event planning and race putting on and all that it entails; suggested putting on a women’s weekend race clinic.

i think, yeah! sweet. awesome idea. lets do it.

she talks about flying in a pro, and says words like clinic, registration, rides, races, usac, insurance, park fees, officials and a bunch of other stuff that made my eyes glaze over and excited me at the same time.

gulp. really? you mean we’re really gonna do this?

we checked the regional race calendar and contacted the pro to coordinate schedules and within days a date was picked and it was done.

yep. we’re doing it.

thus began my immersion into the world of bicycle racy event planning. it was a whirlwind of securing parks and venues, figuring out how to set up registration, contacting some awesome sponsors, grass-roots marketing, nail-biting, sleep losing and please-dear-god-i-hope-people sign-up-for-this-cause-it-could-really-be-awesome thoughts running through my head on a daily basis.

people signed up and it was indeed awesome.

nicola cranmer came to the ‘ville in support of women’s cycling, bike racing and grassroots efforts. there was a full day of clinic discussions, breakfast, lunch, skills work, a long ride, a gelato stop and race course review. and the next day, there was a how to warm up like the pros clinic and on-the-spot racing instruction, primes, prizes and podium etiquette and there may have even been a little talent scouting.

the bikeclicks racer chicks were a diverse group of women in age and cycling experience, but all wanted to learn more about training, racing, and how to encourage more women to conquer their fears and line up at a race.

it’s a scary thing. to put on an event like this. to fly someone in, to hope people sign up to participate and support something that you believe in. it was a team effort all around; one that could not have been done without the sorts of folks who have done this sort of thing, without partners to document the event, drive pace cars, (yeah. that’s how we roll. we had a pace car. and let the records show that i thought webguy was having way too much fun in the pace car), but mostly it couldn’t have been done without nicola and the awesome women who came to the event.

so i’m super happy to say that the ‘shake-down’ inaugural clinic was a success. sure, we forgot pins for the race numbers and the gatorade mix was a little strong and the timing of the weekend may not have been ideal – but next year it’s going to be even better. we took notes.

nicola is coming back and she’s hoping to bring some of her hit squad along with her.

sometimes i’m stupid

suzanne@bikeclicks.com — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:01:50 GMT

sometimes i think the whole bike racing thing renders me completely stupid. i suppose it could be argued that i was stupid before the whole bike racing thing, but that’s not relevant right now.

the particular stupid to which i am referring is during a race. take last weekends’ race for example: i am feeling all iamwomanhearmeroar and actually get the break. i see it go. and i go too. and as i’m going, girls just seem to be falling backwards on the hill and i’m passing them and i am feeling great. not only about passing people and moving up, but very literally, feeling really good. and i am thrilled beyond belief to be what seems to me at the time, about the 4th girl in line with the break.

and then

the very next thing i know is i am no longer anywhere near a break, or even the pack, the girls i just passed are somehow ahead of me and i’m chasing a girl who has fallen off the pack.

wtf? what happened between A and B? one minute i am feeling like the king of the world and the next, i am clinging to a life raft. how did that happen? the whole fatal flaw of hitting the iceberg was spliced out and left on the cutting room floor and i’m just dumbfounded as to how i ended up on the life raft.

it’s not the first time i’ve experienced complete mental block during a race and whole segments of the race ended up on the cutting room floor. my husband will often ask me questions like, what did you do next? or who’s wheel were you on? or why were you out in the wind? gapping off? was it a bad shift? did i touch those damn brakes? the list of my mistakes is endless, but my response is usually a vapid stare and an i don’t know.

all that debilitating fear that always used to hold me back is gone. now if i can just lose the stupid, i should have this racing thing all figured out.

i might start wearing a helmet cam. that way, we can just replay the footage over and over again and see the precise moment i hit that iceberg. ah yes. see – right there – she went up and to the left. up and to the left.

by george, i think i’ve got it now

suzanne@bikeclicks.com — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 14:42:15 GMT

i’ve become a litle bit obsessed with those rollers that the roller fairy dropped off the other day.

because if i had to get on that trainer one more time, cause it was raining, or too windy, or snowing or i didn’t have a big consecutive chunk of time to ride because i was always dropping someone off, or picking someone up and running to the market in between to get that one thing i forgot on the previous trip; someone was gonna have to shoot me.

i’m just sayin.

i tried them out on wednesday. the first attempt is here. the little crash into the doorjamb shook me up a bit and so i took a breather to eat dinner. then i got back on, only this time i couldn’t even let go of the wall. which made me mad. so i took another breather. and then i got back on again and did it. and i stayed on for 20 minutes. that whole, 3rd times a charm video is here.

i tried again yesterday. i was feeling ridiculously optimistic and set them up in the middle of the living room so i could watch the tour of california. i clipped in. put my hand on a chair to steady myself and then promptly chickened out to go back to my safe little cocoon of a vestibule where if i fell, it was into a door on either side of me, about 4 inches away.

once in my happy little vestibule on the rollers, i settled into the work of breathing and relaxing. here’s the thing about me and the bike: i have a tendency to be tense. my elbows lock. my neck seizes up in a little spasm that i always attributed to long rides and poor bike fit. in a lightbulb roller moment that first day, i learned that the neck stuff has nothing to do with long ride, cause it was killing me 5 minutes into a roller session. and i just had a snazzy bike fit. i need to relax!

and those locked elbows are what will make the bike go all wiggy and do crazy ivans. if you do that on the rollers, you’ll fall into the door.

i’ve always wanted to learn how to meditate, but was never very good at it. couldn’t keep my mind focused, or open, or breathe through my third eye or whatever it is they tell you to do. and once my mind wandered cause i was thinking about what i needed to get at the market, or all the laundry i needed to fold, it was all over.

on the rollers, if i lose focus, the possibility of falling into the door has been exponentially increased.

so i get on. clip in. look up. relax. and breathe. and then i just ride and ride and ride. sometimes i’ll focus on the spot in the front hallway that desperately needs to be mopped, or i’ll look at the bunch of flowers on the welcome home mat in front of the front door. sometimes i’ll glance to the side to catch a glimpse of the tour. every now and then, i’ll glance at the cyclo computer to see how much time i’ve been rolling or what my speed is. i got really brave yesterday and shifted, and then pedaled faster and harder. relax, breathe, bend your elbows a bit.

look at that spot that needs to be mopped.

I don’t think so.

suzanne@bikeclicks.com — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 22:45:10 GMT

I couldn’t bear the thought of another trainer session yesterday and thought it would be fun to take the ‘cross bike off the ceiling hook and go for a little snowy spin. I had an easy day – surely I could do a nice little slow spin around the neighborhood, right?

Now, For anyone who knows me & has seen me race/ride cross, it’s pretty evident by the look of ohdeargodpleasedontletmefallandgetimapledbythatstake look on my face that I am a bit of a wuss. And that’s putting it mildly. For me, ‘cross season is a constant, daily experiment in conquering irrational fears – like that ridiculous one of getting impaled by a stake should I fall just so. My husband would ask me – do you know of anyone who has ever gotten impaled by a stake? And I’d always have to sheepishly say no and then think up some other reason for my shortcomings on the course.

That said, while ‘cross may have scared the living daylights out of me half the time – I loved it. Subtract the irrational fear, and I loved the atmosphere, the people, the venues, the teammates heckling me, reminding me: for the love of god woman, pedal your bike. It’s a race.

So I went out front to assess the situation and see if things were rideable. Things on my immediate street didn’t look so good, but in my desperation to stay off the trainer I kept rationalizing that a ride was totally possible. So I kept walking to see how the next and slightly busier street would look; thinking surely, it would be plowed – or at the very least clearer than my own street. My high hopes were being dashed with each step in the snow, slush and ice. I mean, the mud at Storm the Greens scared the bejeezus out of me – I was gonna ride in this?

The delusional optimism lasted until I got to the intersection and saw the 4” of slushy, icy, rutted, snowy sludge - as far as I could see in both directions. I thought hell – I didn’t pay a race fee, there’s no points to try for and while I’m sure the neighbors would find just cause for some heckling; there’s just no atmosphere. Subtract the atmosphere and there was no way I was gonna just ride in that stuff for the heck of it. There’s gotta be some points, some people yelling on the sidelines, there’s gotta be some sort of pleasedeargoddon’tletmecomeinlastagain carrot. To ride in that stuff just because? I don’t think so. I walked home, reluctantly got on my trainer and thought of the nice, clean, clear dry roads of road season, while browsing through the latest issue of cx magazine.